


Mistakes

by orphan_account



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Angst, Chance Meetings, Drabble, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-22 18:34:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8295863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Things had changed. They had changed.





	

It had been three years. Three years since Brendon broke up with him, broke up the band, and broken his heart. Three years of barely living, turning to anything that would make him feel even the slightest bit alive again; drugs, drinking, sex, he had made every mistake and none of it had worked (but he still did it anyway).

“Have some respect for yourself, Ryan,” they’d tell him, right after he’d bought stuff from them or they’d fucked him raw. “Don’t you care about what other people think of you?” they’d ask, watching as he’d get fucked by some stranger in a room full of people, too many drinks with something slipped in. “You need help, Ryan,” they’d say, his shaky hands bringing cigarettes and coffee up to tinged blue lips. 

Three years since the last time he’d been anywhere near ‘okay.’ 

“Hey, Ryan.”

“Get fucked, asshole.” 

Looking back on it, throwing his drink in Brendon’s face was probably a mistake, but Ryan really didn’t care. He could have pushed Brendon off the roof and been indifferent; nothing mattered because they’d all die in the end, so he might as well enjoy the little victories (and the little crushing losses).

Either way, he’d drown himself in drinks and drugs until the sun came up to shine on his shortcomings. Unfortunately though, dawn was long coming as the night had just begun, so he was stuck spending hours trying to avoid the biggest mistake of his life as he tried valiantly to get to the point where he was so wasted that he just wouldn’t care. 

“Ryan.”

Fuck. He didn’t have a drink to throw again.

“Ryan, please, can we just talk?”

Ryan rolled his eyes. He wouldn’t look him in the face.

“Look, I— I know this is kind of out of the blue and everything, but—”

“Just get to the goddamn point, already.”

Brendon smiled, slightly bittersweet. “I see you still have a way with words.”

Ryan sneered, hurt and angry. “I see you still have an ego as big as your forehead.” 

“If you’re going to act like a child—”

“Really? _I’m_ the child? That’s a good one, Bren.”

At the use of the old nickname, Brendon recoiled as though he had been slapped. Ryan winced himself; he hadn’t intended on slipping like that, but in a way he was still stuck back in Cape Town. He couldn’t help but fall back into the patterns of that poor lovesick boy who still had hope when it came to love. 

“Ryan.” His voice was uncharacteristically soft, expression open and honest. “I know things didn’t end well between us.” Ryan snickered and the other man ignored the muttered, “That’s an understatement.”

Brendon sighed and ran a hand through his hair, frustrated with Ryan’s sarcasm and bitter remarks. “We made a mistake,” he admitted, “all those years ago. And I— I don’t think I want to stop making them.”

Ryan laughed, angry and hurt and unable to believe it. “Fuck you,” he said, and spat in Brendon’s face.

Maybe change wasn’t so bad.


End file.
